Sometimes a meltdown is a good thing.

Over the past week or so my pain level has increased, my tolerance for pain has decreased, the pain meds have not been working, or some horrible combination of ALL the above.  

Whatever, last night was a horrible night.  I was unable to stand long enough to brush my teeth.  Every time I wanted to turn over in terms bed, I was howling with pain and crying.  When we left this morning from chemo, I couldn't help myself get into the car.  Juan had to lift me. By the time we got to the Cancer Center, I was hysterical.

The chemo nurse picked up on me right away, and pushed the two bags of medicine as fast as she could, notified the doctor, and pushed me into a private room. Where I immediately went ape.  

Dr. Zafar came in, assessed the situation, and began writing orders.  She was horrified that I had not called her before it came to this.

She has upped the fentanyl patch to 50 mcg/hr, doubled the hydrocodone to 10mg/6hrs, and says if that's not enough, she will up it again.  

She also referred me to a radiology oncologist, Dr. Eduardo Fernandez, so I have yet another person in my corner.  I meet him Monday.  Nuking the bone in my pelvis is supposed to stop the nerve pain in my groin and left butt.

I can assure you, upping the pain medicine worked like a charm.  I can get up off a chair by myself, I can sit without pain, and I feel like a human being.  I actually feel, for the first time, like I really have a chance to beat this.

My Mother always taught me a real Southern lady NEVER displays her emotions in public.  I always told her sometimes you have to let people know how you really feel.  Today I was right, Mother.

Please continue to pray for us. We are blessed.