Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Sometimes a meltdown is a good thing.

Over the past week or so my pain level has increased, my tolerance for pain has decreased, the pain meds have not been working, or some horrible combination of ALL the above.  

Whatever, last night was a horrible night.  I was unable to stand long enough to brush my teeth.  Every time I wanted to turn over in terms bed, I was howling with pain and crying.  When we left this morning from chemo, I couldn't help myself get into the car.  Juan had to lift me. By the time we got to the Cancer Center, I was hysterical.

The chemo nurse picked up on me right away, and pushed the two bags of medicine as fast as she could, notified the doctor, and pushed me into a private room. Where I immediately went ape.  

Dr. Zafar came in, assessed the situation, and began writing orders.  She was horrified that I had not called her before it came to this.

She has upped the fentanyl patch to 50 mcg/hr, doubled the hydrocodone to 10mg/6hrs, and says if that's not enough, she will up it again.  

She also referred me to a radiology oncologist, Dr. Eduardo Fernandez, so I have yet another person in my corner.  I meet him Monday.  Nuking the bone in my pelvis is supposed to stop the nerve pain in my groin and left butt.

I can assure you, upping the pain medicine worked like a charm.  I can get up off a chair by myself, I can sit without pain, and I feel like a human being.  I actually feel, for the first time, like I really have a chance to beat this.

My Mother always taught me a real Southern lady NEVER displays her emotions in public.  I always told her sometimes you have to let people know how you really feel.  Today I was right, Mother.

Please continue to pray for us. We are blessed.


  1. I love you more than words can say. You inspire me every single day. Your spirit is strong and needed here, I"m sorry. You must stay for quite a while longer. You got this. <3

  2. Congrats Patti. Learning how to put yourself first is a big step in the Cancer battle. Remember how we discussed that you would need to learn how to be selfish? This is exactly what I meant. Your needs have to come first right now. You took a big step, one that puts you "in the ring". Proud of you. Hugs!

    1. Ah, LInda - thank you so much!!!!! We all love Patty, send prayers or energy or whatever we can but YOU are the one teaching her this dance..... Blessed be!

  3. "Don't tough out the pain" was a continuing litany on my part with my "stiff upper lip" husband so I am just thankful that you gave up and lost it.... There are no rules in this struggle dear Patty so for once you really can throw out your manners, be bossy (oh, no, not you!) and hold your ground til you get the help you need. PS If you're "in the ring" as Linda says, I'll bring the hot pink boxing gloves... Loving and thinking of you all day long. Hugs, Stephanie