Sunday, January 24, 2016

Macho Man's Phone Was Stolen...Or The Keystone Kops, Honduran Style

Macho Man had his phone stolen yesterday, right out from under his nose.  It all started when a woman came through the drive and went around to the front of the house, saw him there and started a conversation about needing a job.  He told her we didn't have any work, but later in the year we might need someone one or two days a week to help in the house. 

He laid his phone down on the window sill and started back on the carpentry job he was doing when he suddenly saw her putting something in her pocket and running out of the yard., so he took out running after her.  One of the neighbors saw what was happening and started chasing the woman. I am peacefully enjoying my afternoon nap.  

Juan came back to the house and ascertained that the only thing missing was his phone,  In the meantime, the neighbor was calling everyone he knew on speed dial, and since he knew the woman, knew her habits, etc, was able to give his friends a name and a description,  While all this was going on, the other neighbors were alerting all THEIR friends, and the hunt was on.

Juan and the neighbor were receiving minute by minute reports of the woman and her boyfriend's progress, as they made their way out of our barrio and into El Centro, on their way to Rio Negro. That's when one of our nephews saw the car, but didn't see Juan in it, so he decided the car had probably been stolen, called four other nephews and headed to the house.  Meanwhile, I am still taking a nap.

I heard the nephews when they came to the door, but they were yelling "Tio!", and I thought he was downstairs and I ignored them..  Remember, I AM taking a nap.  When nobody came to the door, the nephews decided that the car had been stolen and we were probably in the house tied up and gagged, or maybe dead, so they climbed the balcony and came in the front door.  I was still trying to sleep.  

The oldest nephew yelled something about,  "Where is my Tio?" and I said, "He's downstairs, I think.", at which point they took off down the stairs like a herd of elephants, looking for Tio.  They came back up the stairs and took off, and I continued to take my nap.

Through the use of  the ever so efficient native grapevine, Juan and his friend and another friend with a car not only found the woman and her boyfriend in Rio Negro, but surrounded them.  The neighbor demanded that she give him the phone.  At first she denied having the phone.  He became a wee bit more forceful, demanding the phone again, and this time she gave it up.  He took the back off, which I would never have thought to do, and saw she had removed the chips, so he demanded the chips back.  Again denial, another threat, and he had the chips back in the phone.

By now, she is hysterical and begging for forgiveness.  The boyfriend throws her under the bus by loudly proclaiming that he had no idea the phone was stolen; she told him she found the phone on the road.  The neighbor now declares that Juan is HIS Tio and as such is under the protection of the barrio and if she is EVER seen in the barrio again, she will pay a steep price.  I'm still taking a nap.

Later, when I join Macho Man outside for our evening rum and Coke, he casually informs me, "I had quite an adventure this afternoon while you were taking a nap."

We are blessed with good neighbors and friends.