One of the things we struggle with as humans is self image. We work on that until we find a place we're comfortable. My self image is that of a strong, independent, self-confident woman, ready to take on the world. Boy, is it taking a beating.
I can no longer walk without a walker. I cannot get into the shower without help, and someone has to stand by to make sure I don't fall. I have had to learn to perform bodily functions in front of strangers, and have those strangers clean up after them. Macho Man has to help me dress.
Last night, I fell. That shouldn't be a big deal. In the past, I would have gotten up, dusted off, and been glad nobody saw me. Last night was different.
I literally "fell and I couldn't get up". Macho Man couldn't get me up because I fell up against the door and got wedged between the door and the dresser. I was really helpless.
I ended up crawling on the floor like a baby until I could get to the bed, get up on my knees, and launch myself onto the bed on my belly. How embarrassing!
I will certainly have to polish off my self-image. How do I learn to let others help me? How can I reclaim my confidence, when I'm always afraid I'm going to fail in some way?
Fortunately, I have a good network of family and friends. It won't be easy, but it is doable.
I am blessed!