Monday, April 24, 2017

Pain and other stuff.

I have been in a deep, dark hole for more than two weeks due to agonal pain in my left buttocks, a reaction to chemo, and a bunch of other stuff.  I apologise for not writing, but writing was the last thing on my mind.

My PMD has been trying  to get me into the Palliative Care Center for the past 10 days without success.  Friday she gave up and referred me to a private Medical Pain Specialist.  Today I called his office, and his "system is down" so they can't make any appointments;  besides which, the office manager knows for sure they don have any openings for the next two weeks.

I may take the route suggest by the PA C at the pulmonologist's office and go to the ER and literally show my butt.  He said he almost didn't recognize me in his office as the same person he saw in the hospital.  I reminded him he had not seen me when I was not getting IV morphine on a regular basis.

People, I have exactly one place I can sit and be comfortable.  That is a big, cushy, lounger in my daughter's TV room, and then only with my feet up.  I cannot sit in this freaking chair for the rest of my life.

To top all this off, I had another massive reaction to my chemo.  I had chemo last Tuesday, felt good on Wednesday, crashed on Thursday, went to the office on Friday for extra fluids and IV meds; and just felt like getting out of bed today.  The Oncologist doesn't remember ever having a patient who just can't wake up enough to get out of bed.  In fact, one of the most frequently reported side affects is sleeplessness.  Of course, he never had me as a patient.

I am up today, and feeling good except for the pain in my buttocks and pelvis.  I have the best husband on earth, and my family is amazing.

I am blessed.


  1. Oh Patty.......I think of you often every day and pray the medical people will stop F*CKING around and give you a treatment that will CURE NOT KILL YOU......I'm so grateful you're will loving family.........this would be terrible alone.....and you have so many that are with you in spirit as well.....hoping you feel better soon.....;)

  2. As always you are in my prayers. I wish I could just wave a wand and take this all away from you. I love you, and any way I can help you, please let me know.

  3. I've been so worried, and am glad you finally felt well enough to write. I pray that soon you will be able to have access to a service that can give you relief from the pain. Love and prayers, Rod

  4. Patty, you are forever are in my thoughts and let me thank your family for giving you all the LOVE that is getting you through. <3

  5. Ah, darling Patty....
    We are far too closely attuned... I am so very sorry that mind over matter isn't working right now! I've been in a funk, with increasing pain levels, and am guilty of spending far too much time in my lounger, with my legs up for relief. Have I told you lately how proud I am of you? I truly am! You've dealt with a hell of a lot these past few months and I truly admire your grace under pressure and am so very thankful for your family surrounding and caring for you. Shall keep you in my heart, and soul, always. Hugs, Stephanie